Monday, August 27, 2012

Donte Stallworth cut from the Patriots for being too tall.

Your 2012 Patriots
Not really. But it seems that way. Belichick likes his wide receivers to be small. Actually, he likes all of his skill players to be small. New England's backfield consists of Tom Brady and an endless stream of hobbits. Remember when Brady had Randy Moss and set a ton of records and lost only one game? Granted, it was the Super Bowl. But we've seen what Brady can do when given viable options. 

Sure, the Pats just gave Hernandez a contract extension, and he's a BEAST. They also still have Gronkowski, assuming he can stop funneling coeds long enough to run a post route. But these two are both tight ends. The receiving corps remains three Matt Lauer's and coal miner's kid who played left field for a traveling whiffle ball team in junior college. 

Look, I hate the Pats. I'd like nothing more than to see Brady treated like the fat fish at the beginning of The Shawshank Redemption. But one of my best friends is a die hard New England fan so I have to watch every game. I'd at least like to be entertained. But no. Belichick insists on employing an endless stream of tighty whitey's for sprint draws and 3-yard crossing patterns designed to suck happiness from my eyeballs. Poor Dante is the latest casualty. Too tall and too athletic and far too effective. Stretch the field? Maybe a deep ball? Not on Bill's watch!

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