Wednesday, June 27, 2012

College Payoff

4-team playoff? Everyone will miss the BCS once this shady reach-around is instituted in 2014. For now I'll just say---You don't fool this old rube, college football.

Your college football playoff Selection Committee 
Those old men relieving themselves in the picture? That's your selection committee (kind of,) and here's what the Great Oz (ESPN) says: "The committee will be charged with giving all teams an equal opportunity to participate in the playoffs and will consider factors such as strength of schedule, head-to-head results and whether a team is a conference champion."

What part of that is a computer incapable of? Odds are the committee will be made up of conference commissioners, retired coaches, and retired players. Let me tell you something right now---Bobby Bowden didn't know where the fuck he was for the last three years he was coaching. I imagine he's in an Alvin's Island right now wearing a snorkel and trying to convince the register girl that these souvenir shot glasses are actually "pee-pee hats."

Old players? You mean this one? Or this one? Or this one? Christ.

Don't even get me started on conference commissioners. These are the same conference commissioners that have rejected a playoff for 20 years because it had "the potential to infringe on academic expectations of student athletes." Horseshit. As soon as the playoff became economically viable these fools shook on it, and were so giddy about the possible financial windfall, they appointed a committee of this---

What bowl are you taking us to?
So, yes, college football, I doth protest. I love you, and I will watch you. But just like a stripper in Panama City, I will never trust you.

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